Sunday, January 2, 2011

Yogi Bear 3D: Movie Review...

Worst movie I've seen in the theater since I was 11 years old and saw She-Ra: Princess of Power.

It was THAT bad.

Now before you get carried away, this was not my choice of a film to go see.  I tried to get my 5 year old son to go see either The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader or Tangled, but to no use.

So instead it was off to see this unfunny, uninteresting, dumb, tired, pile of poo.

The 3D effects were terrible and I have decided I much prefer "2D" films over 3D ones.  To be honest (which I have yet to hear anyone be) 3D films are not "3D" at all.  They merely place 2D objects at different depths of field--but they're still 2D.  Imagine that various characters are flat paper images stuck to Popsicle sticks and placed at various distances from the viewer.  Yes, you can tell there is a difference in the distance from one another and they do "stand out" from the rest of the scenery but there is still no depth of field.  The individual 3D character's nose does not appear any closer to you than the rear of his backpack.  Additionally, the 3D effect adds nothing to the story or enjoyment of the film, its merely a distraction and method of charging more to the film goer.

All actors within this film should be ashamed except for Justin Timberlake (who does the voice for Boo Boo).  While Timberlake surprises in his ability to do Boo Boo's voice and make you forget his pop-star persona and do a solid job in an otherwise dreadful film, the rest of the actors are merely going through the motions--Anna Faris doing her best dumb-down, ugly, Drew Barrymore impression and Tom Cavanagh being wholly unable to look like he could actually see Yogi when he was talking to him--half the time I thought he was staring at the treetops when speaking to the CGI characters with unblinking, dead-fish eyes.

How bad was this film?  It was so boring there weren't even enough poop or other bodily function jokes to elicit a single giggle out of my 5 year old.  This film is bound to bring in at least $100MM due to its "family" marketing, holiday release and 3D gimics.  But don't let the box office take fool you.  You'd have to pay ME $100MM to see this horrid film again...

No comments: